For Now and Next December

Here's some of those lyrics that really just say what you can't about the reality of human stuff we all go through. After I heard this song I though, "Whoa, that's true." I like how the song hits home how sometimes there are just no answers but that change always comes, even though we know we're all messed up. Lastly, we have to be loved by Somebody because of that fact before we can love other people and not suck the life out of them...


"Savior"

Love's not a savior when your messed up,
when you're messed up forever.
You feel like you're drowning in red hearts
wrapped in red ribbons and blue skies.

Then somebody pulls the plug
and it all goes down the drain
but don't we all change?

There's no good answers to your questions
I had a feeling and now it's gone
It seems like your waiting on some verdict,
but it's a mis-trial
please go home.

Rain won't dull your hurt,
but change is today,
like a barrell of a field
filling up with rain-
not a photograph,
you're only afraid
and don't we all change?
don't we all change?

love's not a savior when your messed up,
when you're messed up.

~The Everybodyfields


Though I'm not nearly as brave and upfront as this band, or Steve Brown, I've been hooked on reading his letters over these past long and wonderful Christmas vacation days. One left to go, I settled down with his letter for Christmas and all the ways we look at Jesus, especially when we forget He's there. This song reminded me to look for Him, too.

Enjoy.

Getting Young in a New Year

I got an ipod for Christmas- one of my first grown up toys in a while. The funny thing is, as I was importing all my music and trying to figure out the stupid complicated thing, I turned it into a job instead of fun. I even felt a little guilt in spending a half a day organizing the darn thing, at one point even considering if having an ipod was a waste of money that could be used to feed poor people. I was crazed with forgetting how to have fun-on Christmas vacation. Such a tragedy...until I came across this quote from Steve Brown after realizing I needed I needed to get out of the house or get distracted by something worthy of attention.

"I want to be really important. I don't like that in me; but, there, I've said it and feel a great deal of relief. Paul said that he was crucified with Christ and that he (Paul) lived because Christ lived in him. God is doing stuff in our lives and the more we pretend that we are something different than what we are, we truncate the image of Christ—the very image that is naturally and supernaturally being formed in us."

He nailed it. So maybe wanting to be important by being good at technology, or maybe good at using money from sold technology to help others is just a cover up. Maybe it's just thinking of what's expected of important people. If you can't relate to either of those, just check out the site and see for yourself and just quit reading this. But, I think we've all felt some way or another that feeling of wanting to rip up your grown up clothes and put on your play clothes...but not knowing how to do it without breaking rules. For instance, we are approaching once again those days like we're in now with a "new year" and all its goals (which I tend to shy away from) maturing adults should all have. But somewhere in between all the important things we think we "should" do and be like is us sitting crosslegged like a kid saying we just want to do what we want to do. The fact is, we hardly admit that last part to ourselves and carry around neatly packaged load of guilt for feeling that way instead of preparing our business face for the next work year.

So what will we not admit? What we really want? What do we hate? What do we think God would strike us down for saying, thinking, doing?

I'm still trying to figure that out, because I usually like being a kid, and I miss child-like faith. I think that faith occurs somewhere in the middle of admitting all those things to God and being ok with it.