Snuggies and Books

So I don't blog much anymore, and I blame that on my snuggie and my reading. I recently made a goal to read books I never read in high school. I ended up skimming and chunking Catch-22, loving Lord of the Flies, and making it through Brave New World slowly but victoriously. I also put blogging on hold because, as funny things have happened, I just didn't feel like blogging about them. So, not to blog again, I'll just post my favorite page from Brave New World.

"But I like the inconveniences."
"We don't," said the Controller. "We prefer do do things comfortably."
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."
"All right then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy."
"Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lously; the right to live in the constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind." There was a long silence.
"I claim them all," said the Savage at last.
Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. "You're welcome," he said.


Merry Christmas! Ha! We are blessed to not be blessed all the time!

Dave Carnegie and Tyler Durdin

Fight Club and The Hiding Place: Dissatisfied members of corporate America and Christians hiding Jews. Similarity? Community. Differences? Opposition to self and opposition to brute force...at least that's what I thought about on my bike ride today, lost in the boonies of a nearby neighborhood.

I watched Fight Club for the first time last night after my brother told me I HAD to see the whole thing. This movie had always been one of those flicks that the rebel kids in high school loved, so I thought it be nice to see inside their minds. (I think I'm a late developing rebel...we all have a little of it.

I've been reading the Hiding Place for the second time in 13 years because I just put it on the reading list for my seventh graders. Too bad we can't compare Corrie's experience to Tyler Durdin's (psychotic ring leader/alter ego of Fight Club's narrator) in my classroom.

If you're still reading, here's the connection I'm getting at: Corrie Ten Boom mentions using Dave Carnegie's strategy of getting people to like you (talking in terms of their interests) and it helps her develop an ally in the Gestapo. Carnegie's principles date back to 1936, so can we note the irony that a 21st century reader experiences...human nature doesn't change? Neither do the roles of mommies and daddies. Corrie's dad leads the people to find peace in chaos, and so does Corrie's heavenly father. So what about Tyler Durdin? He doesn't just get people to like him, he gets them to fight him and still like him.

Accoriding the the book/movie, he also sees himself as:

*********"a generation of men raised by women"Palahniuk, Fight Club, 1999, p. 50.
because either their fathers left them, leaving them with no male model, or that "the narrator's opposition to emasculation is a form of projection, and that the problem that he fights is himself."(Maryville University of St. Louis professor Jesse Kavadlo, in an issue of the literary journal Stirrings Still)
**********************************************

So this movie isn't just about guys fighting guys and that being really cool?
**********************************************Here's one more quote:

The mechanic says, “If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?
and another exerpt...
How Tyler saw it was that getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate is better than His indifference.
If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?
We are God’s middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.
Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.
Which is worse, hell or nothing?
Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.
“Burn the Louvre,” the mechanic says, “and wipe your a** with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names.”

– Fight Club, page 141
**********************************************
Call me crazy, but I had get the author's note: Palahniuk gives a much simpler statement about the overall theme of the novel, stating "all my books are about a lonely person looking for some way to connect with other people."

I also think guys just like to fight. Isn't that what football is for?
For girls, I think it comes out in other things like white water rafting, testing the limits to feel more alive. But that's just me...

I wonder who Dave Carnegie would like to fight...

To Do...To Enjoy...Hopefully

So here's my list. I'm going all "Rorie Gilmore" inside so I needed this, my list of aspirations, to be completed by who knows when.

1. Paint more, find a few signatures things to paint/sell-worthy, post paintings on blog and Etsy.
2. Do more calligraphy and make a book of different fonts.
3. Get a business card for painting and/or calligraphy (wedding invitations).
4. Set up a booth for both who knows where...Ross Bridge Fresh Market?
5. Write more- I am currently working towards a series of memoires to be called "Out of the Boonies." (all about getting lost...and finding something along the way)So who's gonna read this? Who knows...

Wait, I'm a teacher, so doesn't this all go away starting August 18th? I don't want it to...

As you can see my thoughts are jumbled, so I'll just post some of my recent paintings below, mainly so I can at least get started on the list.

Desperate House-not-so-much-Wife: Summertime

1. Something I've noticed about other people: So I love answering this question: "So since you're a teacher, what do you DO in the summer?"
My tired answer has been of late: "Well, I take one day at a time." Why would I respond so curtly? Well, simply because most people ask teachers this with a gleam of jealousy or resentment and seem to want me to say things like, "Well, I'll start out in Boca and then maybe hit the Keys, and who knows after that." Or mabye they expect something like, "Tutoring the homeless." On the other hand, maybe I just wish they were jealous, jealous of the money I don't really have. So, to establish a happy medium, I'll leave them in mystery.

2. Something I've noticed about myself: I have what appears to be the beginnings of a spider vein on my right ankle. What do I do? I consult the experts, only to find a heap of contraditions. Look for yourself: (http://www.womenshealth.gov/FAQ/varicose-spider-veins.cfm#D)My responses are included after a few points of advice.

How can I prevent varicose veins and spider veins?Not all varicose and spider veins can be prevented. But some things can reduce your chances of getting new varicose and spider veins. These same things can help ease discomfort from the ones you already have: ("hmm, sounds helpful")

Control your weight to avoid placing too much pressure on your legs. "Ok"
Do not cross your legs when sitting. "Got it"
Elevate your legs when resting as much as possible. "Principal wouldn't like that"
Do not stand or sit for long periods of time. "Am I supposed to get a hover-craft?!"
If you must stand for a long time, shift your weight from one leg to the other every few minutes. "That wouldn't look like I had to pee or anything"
Wear elastic support stockings ("super panty hose?")and avoid tight clothing that constricts ("leave the girdle at home...darnit!") your waist, groin,("do women even have these!?") or legs.

I hope that was as fun for me as it was for you. Ah, the signs of age!! But seriously, this Q and A really got me:
Why do varicose veins and spider veins usually appear in the legs?The force of gravity, the pressure of body weight, ("AKA your fat butt")and the task of carrying blood from the bottom of the ("big, old") body up to the heart make legs the primary location for varicose and spider veins. Compared with other veins in the body, leg veins have the toughest job of carrying blood back to the heart ("because the butt increases the distance there"). They endure the most pressure. This pressure can be stronger than the veins' one-way valves.

Well, I'm glad I'm informed. I think the bottom line is, don't have a big bottom and move it around a lot throughout the day.

I've Decided

That there are too many things online for me to handle. How do I have time to read when I'm too busy fixing my new account on a reader's corner website thingy? And now I'm writing about that on a blog that nobody reads? Hmm...it must be the end of the school year...

Obsession

It's been a long time since I used that word. What do I mean? you ask: Calvin Klein? Substance Abuse? Football? (only in Alabama)
Two words: Stephenie Meyer
Two more words: Twilight Series



I'm usually late on trends and such. I never read Harry Potter. I never finished Redeeming Love (Francine Rivers). But I am obsessed with Twilight. And the closest I can compare it to is my past obsession with Titanic (or mabye it was Leo since I was 14 at the time. Number of times I saw Titanic in the theater: five. Number of times I've seen Twilight: twice, both in the same day...and it's not over yet.

The perplexity concerning this current obsession is: why? why am I obsessed with a book series and a movie full of teenage angst and true love? I'm freaking 25 years old, so doesn't obsession get old? Apparently not, and for that I'm glad. I think the most perplexing thing about this situation is that I actually stopped to ask why? and that assures me that my analytical pessimism still lingers.

The upside of this obsession is that it fuels itself through following:
1)the healthy habit of reading
2)new music

While being an English teacher, I have a horrible short-term memory and poor inference skills. For example, I can't remember major plot elements and get confused easily when several events happen at once. But I "get" characters like the back of my hand. Speaking of characters, Meyer has an entire playlist of songs from each character's perspective. (Bella, Edward, and even Jacob).

Enjoy

On a Cold Tuesday Afternoon

Today I had three of my hurdlers hug me. They aren’t really fast, but they work hard. Their last set was their best one, and I gave them a fist pump to congratulate them. They even said, “Hurdling is fun!” without my having to convince them or manipulate them into believing that jumping over dangerous wooden structures passes the time on the track quite well.

They even said this wonderful exclamation after I intensely drilled them and introduced new techniques that can get pretty tricky. I admit that I can get a little focused and forget to “keep things fun,” I guess because track is something that holds a special place in my memories from high school. But in spite of myself and my desire to relive athletics through these fifteen year-old-girls, they found their own way to loving a challenge.

Just when I thought this next generation of teenagers was going to prove lazy and unmotivated, my hopes were brightened when one of the girls said, “Thank you Coach Doss.” And I melted. The girl might have just as well said, “Thank you for making me run my guts out. Most people forget to cause me pain during the day. But not you. You remembered not only to create the opportunity for pain, but you yell across a flat field to make me keep going.”
Today I had three of my hurdlers hug me. And that was enough to remind me that simple things like that make life worth living.

25 Random Things

Random things, facts, habits, goals. I rebelled against the trend to do this,the latest feed on Facebook, but I’m no good at rebellion...so here it is.

1. I’m not fond of goals, and I’m not proud of it. I’m an INFPorJ on the Meyers Brigg personality test, but I want to be an extrovert.
2. I like being around people that remind me to take myself less seriously. 13-yr-olds help; this survey doesn’t.
3. I have absolutely no sense of direction. I still get lost driving home to Memphis. I think it’s because I think too much in the car and get distracted.
4. I would love to volunteer for a study of the brain and the hippocampus.
5. My dream as a little girl was to be Amy Grant, or one of Degas’ “blue dancers.” My friends often ask me to pantomime random songs on the radio. . . The dream lives on.
6. My dream now is to be Meryl Streep in “Out of Africa,” except I would teach English instead of manage a coffee plantation. In 2009 that translates into Nicole Kidman in “Australia.” I plan to do this sometime in my late 30’s. I will need a map and a guide and a planner.
7. I clean my room to clear my mind. I keep all my books from high school where I can see them, but I’m too busy cleaning my room to re-read them.
8. I’m almost finished with grad school. I blame teaching, coaching, and going to school for the reason I stopped writing and painting. I call it losing my soul, but that may be a little extreme. I have painted two paintings this month-woohoo.
9. This spring I’m coaching varsity track. I get chills and a rush of adrenaline when I think about it. I will probably pull a muscle while trying to whip out some old hurdle moves, but I firmly believe that embarrassing yourself in front of kids is a great teaching tool.
10. I hurt my right knee playing flag football in college. Instead of running now, I love riding my bike, but can’t decide if I’ll every wear a nylon uni-tard. Also, I can’t figure out how to open the storage room it’s in at my new apt.
11. My friends often say I’ll marry an older English professor, but I would like to resurrect Paul Newman instead. Cool Hand Luke would’ve made a great man if he’d gotten out of prison.
12. I’m drawn to people that are bold and sarcastic, but being assertive is a huge weakness of mine. I’m currently changing that. Watch out.
13. I can make my mother laugh until she cries and goes into spasms. But usually she laughs at things she says herself, and so does my brother. My dad and I usually have people laughing “at us.” He was always on my side.
14. I have to read books really slowly. But I remember one-liners that change my world. Currently it’s the Twilight series and Across Five Aprils.
15. I cried when I saw the view from the top of Edinburgh Castle, and then had my picture taken with a fake William Wallace.
16. A stranger once said I looked like Cheryl Crow. A year later someone said I looked like Joan Cusack. I don’t believe what strangers say.
17. I still love Mariah Carey and Celine Dion.
18. I’ve worn a Ninja costume for Halloween two years in a row. I love Memoirs of a Geisha and The Good Earth and the Last Samurai.
19. I would rather be an Indian than a cowgirl.
20. My mom once called me a “delicate flower”; over the past 7 months, I’ve had walking pneumonia twice and get some kind of sick every two weeks.
21. I’m hard on myself about not being more spontaneous, but my friend and I did get two of my friends lost in the Cherokee National Forest in 35 degree weather, after which we hitch-hiked to get down the mountain. I basically tricked them into going on a 6 mile hike.
22. I want to be really good at what I do-coaching and teaching. I love a good pump up speech. I owe that to my dad.
23. I once tried to explain the origin of trail mix to a Brazilian who spoke 20% English. I used hand motions and words like “forest” and “lost.”
24. I live in Birmingham but Tennessee will always be home. Maybe one day it will be Nashville. But Margo would move away because we think God doesn’t want us to live in the same city.
25. I have absolutely no plans next summer and absolutely no money to spend. But I want to go to Greece.

From the Wisdom of Charlie Brown

I strongly dislike New Year's resolutions. And lately I'm reminded of how many people try to make them and try to make me make them. Nothing gets me more irritated.
So, I look to the wisdom of Charlie Brown, who said, "You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this year I will only dread one day at a time." And I think that's some good advice. Keep it simple, one day at a time. And, because "tomorrow has enough troubles of it's own," we can remember this as true wisdom.

Also, because I am often a nerd, I have posted below the lyrics to Robert Burns' "Auld Lange Syne," a song sung by people who don't understand the words at New Year's parties and a reference from When Harry Met Sally, the greatest movie of relational humor to bring in the new year. In light of all the preparations for failure New Year's resolution brings, this song is actually about remembering the good ole days and old friends over a pint. The newest translation reads,

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old times since ?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

Even if you didn't read that, please, be a friend and keep it simple this new year. I will take a moment to be a hypocrite and share my one resolution: to do at least one painting a month. Maybe I'll even post them-but don't get your hopes up.

Happy New Year.

Courtesy Without Flattery

Enjoying a large cheeseburger on a lazy afternoon is one of my favorite things. Five Guys Burgers always does it right for me, but today I had no idea I was doing things right for them. Maybe I was bored or wanted to pick a fight, but I found what I saw interesting and slightly irritating. After my second refill of diet Coke, I pause to skim the customer notice posted directly to the right of the drink machine and above the trash can. It read: "Customers, you are the most important person in the building the moment you walk through our doors." So does that mean me or my friend is more important? It continues,"You are not dependent on us; we are dependent on you." Who said I wanted to enter into a relationship with this restaurant? Then, the sign told me more about how I had given them an "opportunity to serve" me-me who came in here unaware of the person behind the voice calling to me from behind the cash register, heaping compliments and lavishing me with services.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about customer service, but I'm ok if I read a sign that says, "Please keep our restaurant clean." I don't need prodding and fluff. I want my burger, and you want cleanliness. Deal. I'm a rule-follower, usually, and I just feel bad for managers that have probably gotten burned by pushy and angry customers.
I would even offer that restaurants use a similar slogan my old high school would post on their trash cans: Don't mess with ECS. Short and sweet and expecting courtesy without flattery.