Sunday, June 28, 2009

Desperate House-not-so-much-Wife: Summertime

1. Something I've noticed about other people: So I love answering this question: "So since you're a teacher, what do you DO in the summer?"
My tired answer has been of late: "Well, I take one day at a time." Why would I respond so curtly? Well, simply because most people ask teachers this with a gleam of jealousy or resentment and seem to want me to say things like, "Well, I'll start out in Boca and then maybe hit the Keys, and who knows after that." Or mabye they expect something like, "Tutoring the homeless." On the other hand, maybe I just wish they were jealous, jealous of the money I don't really have. So, to establish a happy medium, I'll leave them in mystery.

2. Something I've noticed about myself: I have what appears to be the beginnings of a spider vein on my right ankle. What do I do? I consult the experts, only to find a heap of contraditions. Look for yourself: (http://www.womenshealth.gov/FAQ/varicose-spider-veins.cfm#D)My responses are included after a few points of advice.

How can I prevent varicose veins and spider veins?Not all varicose and spider veins can be prevented. But some things can reduce your chances of getting new varicose and spider veins. These same things can help ease discomfort from the ones you already have: ("hmm, sounds helpful")

Control your weight to avoid placing too much pressure on your legs. "Ok"
Do not cross your legs when sitting. "Got it"
Elevate your legs when resting as much as possible. "Principal wouldn't like that"
Do not stand or sit for long periods of time. "Am I supposed to get a hover-craft?!"
If you must stand for a long time, shift your weight from one leg to the other every few minutes. "That wouldn't look like I had to pee or anything"
Wear elastic support stockings ("super panty hose?")and avoid tight clothing that constricts ("leave the girdle at home...darnit!") your waist, groin,("do women even have these!?") or legs.


I hope that was as fun for me as it was for you. Ah, the signs of age!! But seriously, this Q and A really got me:
Why do varicose veins and spider veins usually appear in the legs?The force of gravity, the pressure of body weight, ("AKA your fat butt")and the task of carrying blood from the bottom of the ("big, old") body up to the heart make legs the primary location for varicose and spider veins. Compared with other veins in the body, leg veins have the toughest job of carrying blood back to the heart ("because the butt increases the distance there"). They endure the most pressure. This pressure can be stronger than the veins' one-way valves.

Well, I'm glad I'm informed. I think the bottom line is, don't have a big bottom and move it around a lot throughout the day.

A Christmas Carol

What do I laugh at most during my work day?