On a Cold Tuesday Afternoon

Today I had three of my hurdlers hug me. They aren’t really fast, but they work hard. Their last set was their best one, and I gave them a fist pump to congratulate them. They even said, “Hurdling is fun!” without my having to convince them or manipulate them into believing that jumping over dangerous wooden structures passes the time on the track quite well.

They even said this wonderful exclamation after I intensely drilled them and introduced new techniques that can get pretty tricky. I admit that I can get a little focused and forget to “keep things fun,” I guess because track is something that holds a special place in my memories from high school. But in spite of myself and my desire to relive athletics through these fifteen year-old-girls, they found their own way to loving a challenge.

Just when I thought this next generation of teenagers was going to prove lazy and unmotivated, my hopes were brightened when one of the girls said, “Thank you Coach Doss.” And I melted. The girl might have just as well said, “Thank you for making me run my guts out. Most people forget to cause me pain during the day. But not you. You remembered not only to create the opportunity for pain, but you yell across a flat field to make me keep going.”
Today I had three of my hurdlers hug me. And that was enough to remind me that simple things like that make life worth living.

25 Random Things

Random things, facts, habits, goals. I rebelled against the trend to do this,the latest feed on Facebook, but I’m no good at rebellion...so here it is.

1. I’m not fond of goals, and I’m not proud of it. I’m an INFPorJ on the Meyers Brigg personality test, but I want to be an extrovert.
2. I like being around people that remind me to take myself less seriously. 13-yr-olds help; this survey doesn’t.
3. I have absolutely no sense of direction. I still get lost driving home to Memphis. I think it’s because I think too much in the car and get distracted.
4. I would love to volunteer for a study of the brain and the hippocampus.
5. My dream as a little girl was to be Amy Grant, or one of Degas’ “blue dancers.” My friends often ask me to pantomime random songs on the radio. . . The dream lives on.
6. My dream now is to be Meryl Streep in “Out of Africa,” except I would teach English instead of manage a coffee plantation. In 2009 that translates into Nicole Kidman in “Australia.” I plan to do this sometime in my late 30’s. I will need a map and a guide and a planner.
7. I clean my room to clear my mind. I keep all my books from high school where I can see them, but I’m too busy cleaning my room to re-read them.
8. I’m almost finished with grad school. I blame teaching, coaching, and going to school for the reason I stopped writing and painting. I call it losing my soul, but that may be a little extreme. I have painted two paintings this month-woohoo.
9. This spring I’m coaching varsity track. I get chills and a rush of adrenaline when I think about it. I will probably pull a muscle while trying to whip out some old hurdle moves, but I firmly believe that embarrassing yourself in front of kids is a great teaching tool.
10. I hurt my right knee playing flag football in college. Instead of running now, I love riding my bike, but can’t decide if I’ll every wear a nylon uni-tard. Also, I can’t figure out how to open the storage room it’s in at my new apt.
11. My friends often say I’ll marry an older English professor, but I would like to resurrect Paul Newman instead. Cool Hand Luke would’ve made a great man if he’d gotten out of prison.
12. I’m drawn to people that are bold and sarcastic, but being assertive is a huge weakness of mine. I’m currently changing that. Watch out.
13. I can make my mother laugh until she cries and goes into spasms. But usually she laughs at things she says herself, and so does my brother. My dad and I usually have people laughing “at us.” He was always on my side.
14. I have to read books really slowly. But I remember one-liners that change my world. Currently it’s the Twilight series and Across Five Aprils.
15. I cried when I saw the view from the top of Edinburgh Castle, and then had my picture taken with a fake William Wallace.
16. A stranger once said I looked like Cheryl Crow. A year later someone said I looked like Joan Cusack. I don’t believe what strangers say.
17. I still love Mariah Carey and Celine Dion.
18. I’ve worn a Ninja costume for Halloween two years in a row. I love Memoirs of a Geisha and The Good Earth and the Last Samurai.
19. I would rather be an Indian than a cowgirl.
20. My mom once called me a “delicate flower”; over the past 7 months, I’ve had walking pneumonia twice and get some kind of sick every two weeks.
21. I’m hard on myself about not being more spontaneous, but my friend and I did get two of my friends lost in the Cherokee National Forest in 35 degree weather, after which we hitch-hiked to get down the mountain. I basically tricked them into going on a 6 mile hike.
22. I want to be really good at what I do-coaching and teaching. I love a good pump up speech. I owe that to my dad.
23. I once tried to explain the origin of trail mix to a Brazilian who spoke 20% English. I used hand motions and words like “forest” and “lost.”
24. I live in Birmingham but Tennessee will always be home. Maybe one day it will be Nashville. But Margo would move away because we think God doesn’t want us to live in the same city.
25. I have absolutely no plans next summer and absolutely no money to spend. But I want to go to Greece.

From the Wisdom of Charlie Brown

I strongly dislike New Year's resolutions. And lately I'm reminded of how many people try to make them and try to make me make them. Nothing gets me more irritated.
So, I look to the wisdom of Charlie Brown, who said, "You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this year I will only dread one day at a time." And I think that's some good advice. Keep it simple, one day at a time. And, because "tomorrow has enough troubles of it's own," we can remember this as true wisdom.

Also, because I am often a nerd, I have posted below the lyrics to Robert Burns' "Auld Lange Syne," a song sung by people who don't understand the words at New Year's parties and a reference from When Harry Met Sally, the greatest movie of relational humor to bring in the new year. In light of all the preparations for failure New Year's resolution brings, this song is actually about remembering the good ole days and old friends over a pint. The newest translation reads,

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old times since ?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
And surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

Even if you didn't read that, please, be a friend and keep it simple this new year. I will take a moment to be a hypocrite and share my one resolution: to do at least one painting a month. Maybe I'll even post them-but don't get your hopes up.

Happy New Year.

Courtesy Without Flattery

Enjoying a large cheeseburger on a lazy afternoon is one of my favorite things. Five Guys Burgers always does it right for me, but today I had no idea I was doing things right for them. Maybe I was bored or wanted to pick a fight, but I found what I saw interesting and slightly irritating. After my second refill of diet Coke, I pause to skim the customer notice posted directly to the right of the drink machine and above the trash can. It read: "Customers, you are the most important person in the building the moment you walk through our doors." So does that mean me or my friend is more important? It continues,"You are not dependent on us; we are dependent on you." Who said I wanted to enter into a relationship with this restaurant? Then, the sign told me more about how I had given them an "opportunity to serve" me-me who came in here unaware of the person behind the voice calling to me from behind the cash register, heaping compliments and lavishing me with services.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about customer service, but I'm ok if I read a sign that says, "Please keep our restaurant clean." I don't need prodding and fluff. I want my burger, and you want cleanliness. Deal. I'm a rule-follower, usually, and I just feel bad for managers that have probably gotten burned by pushy and angry customers.
I would even offer that restaurants use a similar slogan my old high school would post on their trash cans: Don't mess with ECS. Short and sweet and expecting courtesy without flattery.

Good Stuff from Other People

I have joined the long defeat
that falling set in motion
all my strength and energy
are raindrops in the ocean

so conditioned for the win
to share in victor's stories
but in the place of ambition's din
I've heard of other glories

I pray for an idea
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

I can't just fight when I think I'll win
that's the end of all belief
and nothing has provoked it more
than a possible defeat

I pray for an idea
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

We walk a while we sit and rest
we lay it on the altar
I won't pretend to know what's next
but what I have I've offered

I pray for a vision
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

I pray for inspiration
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave.

Sara Groves, The Long Defeat

I lay down what I cannot hold in my hand,
every sorrow and hope spinning out of control-
here I find sweet resolution
that comes in letting go-
We will find shelter here.

Sandra McCracken, Shelter

Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed."

John 20:29

In Response to Lindsey

Yesterday I forgot my cell phone password and today I forgot my blog's username. I also forgot to post once a week, a pledge I made to this blog, and something my friend Lindsey reminded me I hadn't been doing. So, in effort not to forget anything else, a thing I think I'm most scared of as an adult on many levels, I wrote this little poem. I miss writing and painting. I've been spending a lot of time "not thinking" and "just doing" as life often demands. I spend all day Saturday with my cross country team, and I've been finding out about coaching, mostly by watching our head coach. I've also been finding out about how much kids just want encouragement... I wish I was in better moods in the morning and after work to give it to them. I'm pretty sure running and enduring, and hopefully God through those things, are teaching them a lot without me.




The Trip Back

I miss writing-
7:14 a.m. and the space
between leaving
and arriving on a yellow school bus,
plastic seats soaked from last Friday’s football team.

I sit watching-
front seat behind the driver,
me unsocial and not
making friends or eating candy with teenage
cross country runners
because it’s too early.

I sleep memories-
April in 2000,
my own socks soaked
and muscles aching
with the pleasure of pain riding through a race.

I switched places-
somewhere between
16 and 24 my name slid into “coach,”
asking me if I really was one, or if I
liked the one I had become.

I think maybe-
here’s not a bad place to be,
watching their drama and gossip,
their loving new trends and sad songs
as they wonder why bad things happen.

I wish simplicity-
to take their black
and white together with the grey
and let them believe.

I wish the same for me,
8 away from 16, hoping to throw some
light to at least one of them
as we all ride home.

Embracing Technology

iMovie. Websites. You name it, I was scared of it...until Technology 300. Yes, I created my own website-by force, of course, for a final grade to pass my summer course. But just for the record, I have posted it here as a reminder to all that if I can do it, anybody can do it.

http://www.dpo.uab.edu/~edoss/